Ponderings

She sleeps peacefully in the century-old cradle, unaware of the generations of her forefathers who slumbered there before her.

Who is this little girl who has stolen our hearts and made us wonder where so much love could come from?

She is Hannah Joy-- "favored with joy"-- the answer to countless prayers, the consolation of many tears, the fruit of years of waiting, the shout of joy after a long night of weeping... a miracle.

She has soft brown hair; dark blue eyes; long, slender fingers; a rosebud mouth; round, chubby cheeks; and a soul that will never die.

She looks like Daddy when she is awake, like Mama when she's asleep... and was made in the image of God.

She is sweet, cuddly, peaceful (usually!), and precious... and was created by an all-wise and powerful God.

We feel the weight of the awesome responsibility that it is to train up this little girl in the way she should go, to teach her God's Word and His truth, to guide her into the paths of righteousness. How we pray that she will grow up to be a maiden of virtue, a gem for His crown. We know that He who entrusted her to us will give the daily grace for this seemingly overwhelming task.

During the first week that Hannah was with us, I was overcome with such a bittersweet feeling, thinking about how fast she will grow, and wanting to stop time and keep her tiny and cuddly forever. But our gracious Father showed me that He has made everything beautiful in its time. Now is a time for enjoying a sweet newborn. And it won't last forever, but there will be other beautiful times too-- times for learning to talk and take first steps, times for baking with Mama and riding on Daddy's shoulders, times for reading together and learning to sew. And I don't want to miss any of those times!

And did we not commit to give this little girl back to Him who gave her to us, even as the gracious woman for whom she was named gave back her long-awaited son Samuel? Part of giving her to the Lord is embracing His design that babies grow up. It will be a joy to see her grow and learn, and how we pray that she will serve the Lord in a quiet but great way, and become a woman who is beautiful in His eyes.

So I have dedicated [her] to the Lord; as long as [she] lives [she] is dedicated to the Lord.

I Samuel 1:28

Worth the Wait...

... every minute of it!

* * *

Thank you all for the outpouring of love, prayers, and rejoicing with us as we welcomed our sweet little daughter. I can hardly believe she's been with us for two weeks already! We have been savoring and treasuring each moment, and thanking our gracious Father unceasingly for this precious gift.

I do hope to be able to post more about Hannah's birth very soon... I have not been able to get to the computer because doing so involves climbing the (steep) stairs into our walk-up attic, and I am supposed to be limiting my stair-climbing for another week or so. But soon, hopefully, I will be able to share lots more with all of you.

Thank you again, dear friends, for praying for us, loving us, and rejoicing with us. Our faithful God has been so good to us!

Joy!

With deep gratitude and overflowing joy to God,

we announce the safe and healthy arrival of...

Hannah Joy

Friday, November 6

1:08am

8 lb. 0 oz.

20.5 inches

1 Samuel 2:27

"For this child I prayed,

and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him."

This is Beka's sister Charissa posting.

Beka will update her blog as soon as she is able.

Thanks for all your prayers!

To God be the glory, great things He has done!

Treasuring

As our little one's time growing inside of me draws to a close, I have really been treasuring these moments, these days, of being great with child... for I know that all too soon, he or she will have grown up in the blink of an eye and we'll be wistfully looking back to these precious days. I want to memorize every kick, every hiccup. I want to remember the amazement of seeing little feet and knees poking out... the wonder of feeling the tickle of little fingers deep inside. And I never want to forget the amazing journey on which our Father has led us, to get to this point, for the day seems even brighter after the darkness of the night.


I find myself torn between wanting our little one to be born right now because I just can't wait to meet him or her, and wanting things to stay just like they are forever because I know I am so going to miss being pregnant! But thankfully we don't have to choose, and our Heavenly Father has the day of our child's birth perfectly planned.


We are so excited to meet this precious one for whom we have waited so long... to know if we have a son or a daughter, to kiss those soft cheeks and smell the sweet head, to whisper words of love and hymns of praise and the story of how many people have prayed for this moment, and how faithful our God has been to hear. But most of all, we long to teach our son or daughter about our great God, and how we pray that He will be pleased to save this little soul even at a young age, and to use this child mightily for His Kingdom.





This has been such a special and precious time for us, and we are overwhelmed with praise for God's goodness. I don't think the sheer magnitude of what is about to happen has hit us yet-- the responsibility and stewardship being given to us is staggering-- but we know that our God will be with us each step of the way.



How we appreciate your continued prayers for us, dear friends! We would value your prayers for a safe, peaceful, and natural birth; for wisdom and grace as we become parents; for the salvation of our son or daughter; and most of all, that God will receive glory through our lives.

O Lord, Thou art my God;

I will exalt Thee, I will give thanks to Thy name,

For Thou hast worked wonders, plans formed long ago,

With perfect faithfulness.

Isaiah 25:1

Special thanks to my dear sister for the above photos,

and praise to God for the special blessing of being able to treasure the joys of pregnancy along with my sister and dearest friend... how we longed for and prayed for these days!

Abundance

Bless our God, O peoples, and sound His praise abroad,

Who keeps us in life, and does not allow our feet to slip.

For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.

You brought us into the net; You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins.

You made men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water,

Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance.

Psalm 66:8-12

Yesterday morning, I sat and cuddled a wee little man, just 5 days old-- our second foster baby. He was with us just a few days, but the time we had with him was precious.

As I sat there with him yesterday, listening to his little baby squeaks, feeling his soft skin, and smelling that sweet baby smell, and all the while delighting in the kicks and squirms of my own little one in the womb, I was sobered to think about what our lives were like one year ago.

One year ago yesterday, we found out that our third little one had died in the womb. That was one of the most difficult times of our lives, but our gracious Heavenly Father brought us through the fires of affliction for our good and His glory. We never would have chosen that road for ourselves, but He chose it for us, in His sovereignty, love, and grace. He has been with us each moment, no matter how much pain we were experiencing, and He has upheld us with His matchless grace and strength.

And now, He has indeed brought us out into a place of abundance. We certainly do not deserve the great blessings He has given to us, but oh, how we thank Him for His mercies. We cannot even comprehend His goodness and lovingkindness toward us. Last year at this time, when all seemed as dark as the blackest night and we were waiting so fearfully for the physical process of the miscarriage to begin, we never imagined that one year later, we would be in this place-- this place of abundance.

This season of joy in our lives is even more special, even more amazing, because of the journey the Lord brought us through to get here. Truly, He is all-wise and so very gracious.

Blessed be God, who has not turned away my prayer,

Nor His lovingkindness from me.

Psalm 66:20

A Season of Quiet

The past several weeks have been so full... full of settling into our new home, loving our little foster baby and then saying goodbye to her a couple of weeks ago, soaking up the sunshine and the mild summer breezes we've been blessed with, spending time with family and friends, and enjoying the kicks and tumbles of our own sweet wee one in the womb.

(photo by my talented sister)

But with all of this fullness has come a desire for a season of quiet-- at least in my little place here on the web-- and some re-ordering of priorities. I'm prayerfully considering the future of this blog, and while I haven't come to any definite decisions yet, things will be much quieter around here for a while, at least. I do want to continue to keep all of you updated about our little one, as so many of you have prayed for us and gone through the difficult journey of the past few years with us. You have shared in our sorrows and trials, and now we want you to be able to share in our joy as well.

Thanks to all of you who have checked up on us-- I am sorry to have let so much time slip by without any updates. I'll try to post again soon, but in the meantime, thanks for understanding. I hope you all are enjoying a wonderful summer!

Much love to all of you,

Beka

Finally...

... I can share with you some wonderful news that I've been fairly bursting about! But don't let me spoil it: head on over to my sister's blog to find out for yourself!

Bless the Lord, O my soul...

Bless the Lord, O my soul;

And all that is within me, bless His holy name

Bless the Lord, O my soul,

And forget none of His benefits;

Who pardons all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases,

Who redeems your life from the pit;

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion,

Who satisfies your years with good things,

So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Psalm 103:1-5

Blessed Beyond Measure

On May 2, we moved into our new house.


On May 3, a sweet wee maiden came to stay with us for a little while.

She is tiny and beautiful, and has wrapped her little fingers around our hearts.We don't know exactly how long she'll be with us, but most likely it will be another couple of weeks.

The pace of life has changed a lot around here this past week. I spend my days feeding, rocking, cuddling, changing diapers, and learning to do all kinds of things with one hand-- our little guest very much prefers to be held most of the time.

This is my view from my spot on the couch for some of the day, as I feed and cuddle baby.

She is a healthy eater, delights us with her smiles, and amazes us with how well she sleeps at night-- waking only for two feedings and going right back to sleep.

We love our new house, and are enjoying the quiet neighborhood and the melodious birds that fill the trees in our yard. There is still much work to be done, but we are so thankful to be here.

The Lord has been so vastly gracious to us this past week, giving us incredible strength and grace for each moment. The day we moved in, we were supposed to pick up our little foster baby, so I left the house around noon to get her. Our dear family and church family all pitched in, the men unloading the moving van and the ladies very graciously and efficiently taking over cleaning, painting our bedroom, and setting up my kitchen. It turns out that we were not able to bring the baby home that day after all, due to a small technicality, but I arrived home that afternoon and was moved to tears when I saw what an amazing labor of love our church and family had done for us. My kitchen was sparkling clean, unpacked, and organized, with everything in its own perfect place. Our bedroom was neatly painted, and our bed was even made! I had left the house that morning in a state of chaos, and arrived home to... home. Mark and I really cannot express our gratitude and appreciation for all of the help and support and love that has been showered upon us. We feel so unworthy of such generosity!

Thank you, all of you, for your prayers. There is more-- so much more-- I could say, but my heart is too full for words (seems that's been happening a lot lately!).

My little friend needs a diaper change, so I must go. More to come, soon!

Much love to all of you...

Please pray...

Just a quick follow-up to my last post (so much for not posting again until after the move!):

We have just received word that this precious little girl will not be coming to us tomorrow. It may be next week, or maybe later, or maybe not at all. All I can say is, please pray for her. Her situation is heartbreaking, and I just want to hold her and love her. It is so hard to keep having this postponed.

Thank you all for your prayers!

Mysterious Ways

God's timing... it is beautiful, mysterious, perfect, wise, unexplainable, unfathomable.

Five months ago, we completed our home study for infant foster care. We were all ready to begin caring for a little one, and expected a call any day. But days turned into weeks turned into months, and still nothing. We wondered and waited, and prayed. Then we found out that our own sweet little one was on the way, and we laughingly wondered if we'd get a call for a foster baby the next day. But still nothing.

Now, we are two days away from moving, and it doesn't seem like things could get any busier. I'm spending my days packing up the last boxes (no lifting, don't worry!), taking naps, and trying to stave off the pregnancy nausea that keeps coming back (which I am so thankful for, by the way!).

And this is the wonderful, beautiful, perfect, mysterious time that God has chosen for us to welcome our first foster baby.

We actually got the first call about this little girl about two weeks ago, but due to her circumstances, the date for us to pick her up has been postponed several times. We have heard word yesterday afternoon that it seems Thursday will be the day. Thursday... the day before the closing for our house.

We have prayed about this so much, and wondered how this will work, but never once have we doubted that this is God's will for us, and that it is in His sovereign plan for us to care for this precious little girl. We love her already, even though we've never met her--we don't even know her name!--and we simply cannot wait to pick her up on Thursday.

There is no doubt that this will not be easy. My head spins when I try to imagine how this will all go, especially on the day of the closing. But the Lord's peace pervades, and chases away all the fears and uncertainties, and His words come to us: "My grace is sufficient for you." We don't have to know how all the details will fall into place: we leave that in His hands, confident that the Lord will give us strength and that He will accomplish what concerns us.

Please pray for this sweet little girl. I hope you all understand: I will not be able to give any specifics about her situation or even share her name here, but she needs our prayers, and the Lord knows all the details. Please pray that we will indeed be able to pick her up tomorrow, and that this will not be delayed any longer.

And marvel with us at our Father's amazing, mysterious, unfathomable timing!

Odds and Ends

Please pardon my long absence from this little place... things are going well here, but very busy. There are boxes, boxes everywhere, as we prepare for our move in just a few days. We're almost ready, and very excited!

Our sweet little one seems to be doing very well, and for this we cannot cease to praise our gracious Father. Today I had my 12-week appointment, which at first was rather frightening, as the doctor could not find the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. After trying in vain for a while, she took me back to the ultrasound room and we took a quick peek-- we were so relieved to see our little one kicking and squirming, and that little heart beating. Apparently, the placenta is in front, and blocking our ability to hear baby's heartbeat until he or she is a bit bigger. We are just so thankful that God has preserved this little one's life thus far.

I will most likely not be able to post any more until after we move, and we will probably not have internet access for the first few days in the new house, so I may not be back here until sometime next week. I can't wait to share some pictures of our new house with all of you.

Until then, dear friends, may God bless you all!